MapQuest for Eastern sports

Dear Freshmen,Now I know in the early days of your first year as a college student, you have more on your mind than sports. Questions like these are probably floating around in your mind: "Why are textbooks so $#@#&^% expensive?"

"What are these brown splotches on the ceiling of my dorm room?"

"How did I end up on I-75 when I was looking for the parking lot off of Lancaster?"

(Okay. Maybe the last one was just me).

However, once you get your new life on track, I would like to do you a favor. I am going to be your tour guide to all of the essential sporting venues around campus. You must familiarize yourself with these places as soon as possible.

As a freshman, you probably live in either Palmer or Commonwealth. So, just hop into my figurative car and we'll start the tour.

Stop #1: Roy Kidd Stadium

After turning right out of Commonwealth's parking lot, we will drive about a quarter of a mile until we arrive at Eastern's football stadium. But it's not enough for me to merely show you the stadium.

Any good tour guide would give some background of what he is displaying, and I'm a history minor so I tend to geek out about the historical-ness of places.

Roy Kidd Stadium is the site of some of Eastern's finest sporting moments. The Colonels went to four consecutive FCS title games from 1979-1982 and were victorious in '79 and '82.

The aforementioned Kidd coached the Colonels from 1964-2002 and won 16 conference titles and made an NCAA-record 17 playoff appearances. Basically, if one were to equate Eastern football to The Godfather, Roy Kidd would play the part of "Don" Vito Corleone and new coach Dean Hood would be cast as Al Pacino's Michael Corleone.

Oh, yeah. And there's that tailgating thing you may have heard about.

Stop #2: EKU Soccer Field

After leaving the football stadium, we will take a left onto the bypass and make our way to EKU's soccer field, the home of the women's soccer team. While the program only began in 2005 and doesn't have a lot of history, the team has improved its record each season since its inception and Coach Lindsay Basalyga will push to continue this trend.

You could think of the Colonels soccer team as the girl you knew in high school who somehow went from plain to a knockout by senior year.

Stop #3: Greg Adams Indoor Tennis Facility

After taking a left back onto the bypass, we will take a left at the first stop light and roll up to Eastern's indoor tennis courts. You have keep your eyes peeled for this place because it's not clearly labeled. In fact, the exterior reminds you of those shady warehouses you might see in a bad action flick.

However, on the inside, the tennis courts will ease any fears you might have. Tennis may not seem like an ideal sporting event to attend, but I strongly suggest you go. In what other venue could you watch a live match from a leather couch while simultaneously learning curse words in foreign tongues?

Stop #4: Turkey Hughes Baseball Field & Hood Softball Field

Now, let's get back out onto the bypass and take a right into the Alumni Coliseum parking lot and walk over to Eastern's baseball field. A Colonel baseball game is an excellent way to spend an afternoon once the spring semester rolls around.

As with all other sports at Eastern, admission is free and the Colonel program has produced several Major League draft picks during the past few seasons, including first-round pick Christian Friedrich.

On a side note, park your car at a safe distance. Foul balls have been known to leave some Eastern fans in need of a new windshield.

Since the softball field is on the road that goes past the Fitness and Wellness Center and gas prices are higher than Keith Richards circa 1975, I will just tell you about it.

As with baseball, the weather is beautiful come softball season, and as a former baseball player, watching a woman smack a ball 200 feet is quite exciting.

Stop #5: Alumni Coliseum

Alumni Coliseum is the home to the men's and women's basketball teams and the women's volleyball team, essentially making it a smorgasbord of athletic awesomeness.

The men's basketball team has made the NCAA Tournament in two of the past four seasons (2005 and 2007) while the women's team will be ushering in a new era under new head coach and former Colonel basketball star Chrissy Roberts.

Aside from the fact that attending basketball games gives you great seats for what I believe is the best spectator sport, you can paint your entire body maroon and not be looked down upon.

As for volleyball, you get to watch tall women in tight shorts getting serious air, slamming the ball into their opponents' faces and diving all over the court in a way I would be scared to attempt. Need I say more?

Well, we've reached the end of our tour. Walk back to your dorm and bask in the greatness of Eastern sports.

One last thing: You probably won't even need half of those books you spent those hundreds of dollars on.