I am writing this while crying. Crying because I stayed up for nearly 24 hours just to write this article. Crying because this entire semester is overwhelming and the election is not helping. But most importantly, I am writing this while crying over a decision that will force itself into existence on January 20.

Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States. There, I said it. After a year of refusing to believe it, I finally said the words that break my soul.

Tuesday night taught me a lot about myself (whether it be for better or worse), but it also taught me so much about the American people. Tuesday night taught me that every vote counts—even stupid write-in ones that we thought were hilarious.

Tuesday taught me that trusting polls and analytics are not enough, that human error is still alive and well where we thought the odds was unbreakable. And Tuesday taught me so much about a group I identify with: white Christian women.

Tuesday night, I was disappointed to call myself a Kentuckian. Disappointed to call myself an American. Disappointed to call myself a white Christian woman.

In nearly every close state won by Donald Trump, white women stood in line to cast their ballots for a man who has continuously said degrading things about women he has encountered, who thinks sexual assault is “just locker room talk,” and who would be on trial for rape had not his accuser randomly dropped the charges two days before.

As elections have run in the previous years, Trump also led exit polls in the Evangelical vote—a group of mostly white men and women who vote based on social beliefs.

Though my vote has never aligned with that the of the Evangelical majority, I have never been shocked or disappointed by their support of Republican candidates such as Bush and Romney. These men were competent, nice human beings who I merely disagreed with on a few political stances.

This year is different. This year, Evangelicals supported a man who could not name a book in the Bible, who said he does not need to ask God for forgiveness, and who has broken nearly every commandment Moses inscribed onto stone.

And why did they do it? Why did they vote for a man who goes against the most basic of Christian beliefs? According to my Facebook and Twitter, their decisions came after much thought and prayer.

Apparently, after extreme debate, so many of my friends said God told them that Trump was the morally sound choice for America. All I can say to that is, did God forget to CC me on that email?

Evangelical voters chose a man who goes against everything a Christian believes for a Supreme Court justice. They chose a man who said, and I quote, that he DOES NOT need to ask for forgiveness because he has done nothing wrong, all because they need to make sure our gun laws are protected.

Christians went against their own moral standing for political gain, a Machievillian move that Christian Democratic voters  (like my father and I) have been judged for as long as I have known.

My father always told me that the world, that America, is broken place, and that only God can fix. And I have never believed that more than now.

I can’t rely on myself to fix this place,  rely on Hillary Clinton to fix this place, or even rely on the Evangelical voters to fix this place. The only person I can put my trust in, is God.

To my Christian friends, I see why you made the decision, I really do. You wanted the House and the Senate. You wanted a Supeme Court justice who can reverse so many decision made during the Obama Administration. You wanted your gun rights to be protected, you wanted abortion to be illegal and you wanted Obamacare to go away.

I get it, really. But please, for the love of God, stop calling it a faith-based decision. It was a vote with a purely political motive that you are attempting to disguise with your religion.

Stop. I am so disappointed in you and so many other Christians I know.