By Clay Ward

Though you may not follow women’s basketball, you may want to know that Eastern’s women’s basketball team played the Showtime Skins on Thursday, winning 84-56.Now you may ask yourselves, what and/or who are the Showtime Skins? And I have to say that isn’t a terribly unreasonable question, my friend.

The Showtime Skins are a group of Australia’s most talented young female basketball players.

That means a country gathered its greatest athletes of a certain age bracket and brought them to Kentucky, challenging Eastern, or Eastern found the Skins and invited them here.

Not that crazy for Eastern to go outside the box considering Eastern has its way with the OVC.

Both the Colonels cross country teams and football team are OVC champions this year and men’s basketball won the OVC championship last year; it’s not ridiculous to assume the women’s basketball team will be any different.

To ensure excellence, Eastern needed to go outside the OVC, to find talent. With the exception of Eastern, I believe the well is running dry.

So along comes Australia, thinking they’re so cool with their crocodile teeth necklaces and Keith Urban Accents.

So, the Colonels sign them to play an exhibition game.

Knowing Eastern plays in a nation that dominates every sport that matters. And, on top of that, we are freaking Eastern Kentucky; I mean find a sport we’re not good at.

Actually, thinking that through draws me to a new conclusion.

This country is not so hot at soccer. Not that the United States cares too much because we as a culture appreciate strength, heart, and toughness in our sports; soccer is not such a good indicator of that list. That and Europe pretty much has the sport on lockdown, so why bother?

Still, even with ignorance to soccer, we have easily caught the rest of the world in no time.

The Skins left this country feeling the exact same way any foreign team should after challenging a homeland team.

Certain words come to mind when talking about this game: embarrassed, humiliated, degradation.

All these words are directed toward the Skins, of course. Eastern wasn’t the team who lost by almost 30 points.

Order of events:

1. An entire country put together a team of all-stars

2. They come to play Eastern

3. Eastern demolishes them.

Now, I’m not saying Eastern has the best women’s collegiate team in the world, but I’m not saying we don’t have the best women’s collegiate team in the world, either.

With the idea of us against an entire country, and Eastern doing what Eastern does best, it’s clear the world just isn’t ready for Colonel athletics.

Now you may call me short-sighted, or insanely biased. But, I say “optimistic” or showing “school spirit.”

Before I forget, as a side note.

When talking about this nation and how good we are at everything, I was obviously excluding Western.

The United States is good and all other schools are good within it, but not Western, it is bad. Western is bad at life. Filled with bad people and athletes.

I hate Western but go United States.

Go Colonels.